The Man with(out) a Plan
by Divine-Faithborn
Summary: Oneshot - My take on a Naruto in Yokai Academy


This is a one off idea that I simply couldn't get out of my head a while back. It's been sitting in my hard drive for a while so I figured I might as well as share it. This will not be continued, but if you want to adopt it just send me a private message.

* * *

That S-ranked mission: 01

"What the hell am I doing here?"

Naruto sighed as he watched the landscape speed by. Miles upon miles of landscape passed by on the other side of the glass as the bus sped along at speeds that were most certainly unsafe.

Hero of the fourth ninja war? Check

Finally getting respect from everyone? Check

Brought his best friend back from self-destruction? Check

Next in line for the Hokage's hat? Check

All that and still sixteen? Check

So why in the nine hells did somebody drug him, tie him up, and put him on a bus? Actually, what was a bus anyways? All he remembered was eating a bowl of ramen with Iruka and then passing out. When he woke up he seated on a bench on a bus going almost as fast as he could move with his chakra coat. There was only one other passenger with him, not including the driver, so at least he wasn't being made fun of.

"Could somebody please untie me? My nose really itches." whined Naruto as he struggled aimlessly against the ropes. In their infinite wisdom, his captors had used fuinjutsu enhanced ropes and sealed off his chakra. Normally he could break out of anything, but at the moment he couldn't access chakra or get his hands free enough to reach his kunai holster on his...

Wait... Where was his kunai holster? For that matter where was his obnoxious orange and black jumpsuit? Why was he in black khaki pants and a sports coat? Holy crap, the day just kept getting worse and worse.

'Keep calm. Freaking out won't get me anywhere.' thought Naruto as he resisted the urge scream at the top of his lungs. All that would do was piss off his kidnappers. The thought of a potential kidnapping flashed into his mind. Oh how embarrassing that would be; the hero of the fourth shinobi world war, brought low by poisoned ramen. At least he wasn't being tortured.

Or dead. That had to count for something, right?

The bus continued to roll along in silence as Naruto continued to struggle against the ropes. Just as he thought he was making headway against the knots the bus hit a bump, knocking him off his seat and onto the floor - face first. The bus driver couldn't help but chuckle a little as Naruto continued to struggle, albeit in vain.

"You know, for such a great ninja, Tobi really should have just drugged your food..."

Naruto was about to scream an obstinate retort when the bus came to a screeching halt. This of course had an undesirable effect of throwing Naruto's back into the back of the seat in front of him. He could hear the other passenger shuffling off the bus, and when that person was outside the door closed to give his kidnapper a private moment with Naruto.

"Anyways, welcome to Yokai Academy. Please enjoy your stay."

* * *

"Oh you're kidding me..." said Naruto as he palmed his face. It took all his willpower not to flip the bus over and throw the old driver into the nearby lake. His frustration stemmed not from the fact that he had been drugged and restrained and put on a bus...

Okay, part of it came from that.

But the larger part of his frustration came from reading a letter that the bus driver had given him after he had been untied, ushered off the bus, and given both a suitcase and the aforementioned letter.

_'Naruto;_

_The five Kages here! We know you want to be the next Hokage, but at the moment you have next to no skills in the academic world. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but you still have problems with simple multiplication. As such, we've decided to put you on a bus and send you off for some emergency education. Consider it an S-ranked mission; we'll see you at the October school festival!_

_Love,_

_The Kages_

_P.S.: sorry for drugging you, we figured you would resist any attempts to put you back into a classroom._

_P.S.S.: Iruka had a hand in it too, he wants you to actually learn what 3*42^4-(5/2) means.'_

Frustration turned into anger as he crushed the piece of paper in his hand. Killer intent leaked off him as he stood at the bus stop, infuriated that the Kages had so little faith in him. How could they just stick him on a bus to some god-forsaken academy in the middle of nowhere? They could have just asked him to study! Seriously, how hard would it have been for them to simply ask him to learn some academics instead of drugging his food and sending him off to a boarding school with nothing more than the clothes on his back and a small suitcase that the bus driver had given him?

"What the hell Baa-chan?" shouted Naruto as he charged a dead tree and punted it across the landscape. Thanks to Kurama's power, Naruto managed to send it flying quite a distance before the wind splintered it apart into tiny shards. Four more names and four more trees followed as Naruto angrily vented his frustrations.

'This isn't working.' thought Naruto as he reeled in his anger. In a way the Kages were right, he probably would have resisted learning anything. He would have shrugged it off as a blasé chore. They probably had made a smart choice in sending him off to a boarding school.

But did they really have to drug the ramen?

Naruto closed his eyes and stood on the road as he cleared his body of Kurama's chakra. If they had called it a super-secret S-ranked mission he probably would have volunteered for it. He still didn't understand what was so important about this Yokai Academy either. Did they send him off to a school for the royalty of demon country? If so, did that mean he was going to see Shion again?

"Look out!"

*WHACK*

* * *

Moka Akashiya was having a terrible day. First she had missed the bus to her school. With no clear transportation, she was forced to steal a bicycle and ride it through the gateway - which, by the way, was a really long gateway. Then, just as she passed through the gateway to the academy, her anemia kicked in and made her lose control of the bicycle. After that she ended up crashing rather violently into another student, throwing her off of her bike and tangling the two students up into the veritable pretzel knot.

"Ow... Sorry about that," apologized Moka as she untangled lifted herself off of the male that she had used as a cushion. "I have anemia and I just lost control there."

She worked her way to a sitting position nearby and surveyed the damage. Her bike was completely totaled; the back wheel was in a dozen pieces, the seat had snapped off the frame at the neck, and there were a dozen spokes from the front wheel piercing the chest of the male that she had hit.

"Oh No..." muttered Moka. She covered her mouth with her hands in horror as she recognized the damage. The bike was replaceable, but those spokes went into the blond boy pretty far. Additionally he wasn't getting up. "Oh no I killed someone..."

Tears fell from her eyes as she started sobbing, unaware of the fact that the dead boy was very much still alive. In fact, the accident seemed to do little more than daze him and he was starting to get back up.

"Oh man, what hit me?" asked Naruto as he regained consciousness. He had only been out for a few seconds but the blow to his head really hurt. There were also a few chest pains, like someone had tried acupuncture on him and accidentally driven the needle in too far. Then he realized that there actually were needles poking into his chest. To be honest it kind of reminded him of Haku and wave.

Oh, the nostalgia. How it kills.

He mused to himself idly as he sat up and pulled out the tire spokes in his chest - fifteen in all. That was when he noticed a rather cute girl with long pink hair crying uncontrollably next to him. He silently put the situation together and then laughed out loud when he figured that the girl thought he was dead. How wrong she was.

He watched as she slowly lifted her face from her hands. Big, green, puffy, tear filled eyes met his own eyes as he smiled at her. Tense silence filled the air for a brief moment before Naruto laughed and spoke up.

"Contrary to popular belief, it is extremely hard to kill the great Naruto Uzumaki."

"I'm so sorry! My name's Moka and I didn't mean to do that and I just lost control and I..."

The girl - the rather cute girl - suddenly paused and wrinkled her nose. Naruto kept grinning as she came closer to him silently. As she got closer, however, his smile dropped into a true concern for the situation.

"Hey, are you okay?" asked Naruto as the newly named Moka began to tilt her head. The action moved her pink hair out of her face and gave Naruto a great view of both her bust and the silver rosary hanging from her neck.

"Yeah..." replied Moka absent mindedly, "It's just you're bleeding. And I smell blood. And it smells really good."

*chomp*

With a sudden speed that caught Naruto off guard, the pink haired vampire drove her fangs into Naruto's neck. Warm blood trickled from his vein as Moka drank it happily. Sensory overload and shock from the surprise shut down Naruto's brain despite all his ninja training. After all, Naruto's ninja training didn't teach him how to react to a situation that had more to do with Icha Icha than actual combat.

What...

The...

Dattebayo?

Naruto could only twitch as Moka bit into his flesh and then started drinking his blood. Between the roar of indignation from Kurama in his mind, the shock of the bite on his neck, and sensation of Moka's rather soft... Err... Womanly parts against his chest he was rendered unable to make a single action during the entire sequence.

Thankfully it didn't last long, as after a minute or two Moka pulled away and blushed before apologizing.

"I'm sorry about that," spoke Moka as she raised her shoulders and lowered her head in embarrassment, "you see, I'm a vampire and when I smelled your blood I couldn't help myself."

To the average Yokai Academy student, this admission of monsterhood would have come as a mild surprise. To Naruto, who knew absolutely nothing about monsters, this came as quite a terrible shock. For you see, the great hero of the ninja world had a mild phobia of ghosts and the supernatural. Mostly ghosts, but the supernatural still sent a shiver down his spine.

Naruto's already blood drained head paled even further as his eyes went wide. His muscles screamed at him to get up and run like the wind, but he sat there rooted in place. Unable to do anything more than tremble, Naruto chose his next words very carefully.

"You're... a... vampire?"

"Yep, though, I must say, you were the first person I've ever bitten before. And I'll never forget my first bite."

"Ummm... That's nice..." commented Naruto as he forced himself to smile. Hopefully, if he played his cards right, this Moka person - who was actually a vampire - wouldn't rape him and then leave his corpse in a ditch.

Oh wait, that was a succubus.

"It was absolutely delicious too." chirped Moka as she held her hands to her cheeks to conceal a blush. "I hope I didn't scare you, though, we can still be friends, right? You're the first person I've met and I'd hate to start school without knowing anybody."

Naruto mulled the thought over in his head for a while. The entire situation seemed like it came straight out of a shonen manga, far too corny to be real. Here was this beautiful girl that wanted to be friends who also happened to be a vampire that had just sucked his blood. Man, Jiraiya had to be laughing from heaven at the moment.

"Sure, let's just go with that."

* * *

"So, you're saying this is a school full of monsters?" asked Naruto as he paled slightly. He kept up his larger than life grin, but anyone that knew him would be able to tell that he was horrified at the moment. Truth be told, despite having more than his fair share of bizarre and supernatural experiences, the bizarre and supernatural terrified him. Only the desire to not antagonize the vampire next to him - who did actually terrify him - kept his facade sealed tight.

One monster, he could deal with. A little sage chakra and a few shadow clones and bam, problem solved. An entire school of monsters... Well he desperately hoped that they sucked at combat or didn't actually value combat that much. It would be a terrible year if he had to partake in deathmatches every single day.

"Of course it is Naruto! Didn't your parents tell you before they sent you here?" replied Moka as she walked beside him along the road. She had a carefree smile that mirrored Naruto's, except without the internal terror of possibly seeing a ghost. They had been walking together for about ten minutes, Moka having decided to walk together with her new best friend Naruto, much to her delight and his horror. The forest itself was quickly thinning out as they approached the school campus, all the while having a very interesting conversation.

It was a true testament to his skills that he was able to keep the conversation afloat. If he wasn't scared witless he might have actually found himself enjoying the conversation. Moka wasn't too bad of a person, although she was a bit of an airhead. She wasn't even violent either, quite contrary to the horror stories about vampires and castles and whips and stuff like that. At least she didn't repeatedly try to bash his head in like half the girls he knew.

"Actually, no one told me anything." replied Naruto as they approached the outer limits of the school campus. They were just outside the gate when he continued. "My village leader drugged my food and put me on a bus with only the clothes of my back and this suitcase. Heck, I haven't even looked inside it."

As if to illustrate a point, Naruto raised the suitcase in his hand. The action made Moka raise an eyebrow as it apparently struck a chord with her. She gave him a heartfelt look in the eye and smiled sweetly, a gaze which Naruto did not miss.

"Well, I've already had my stuff moved in so if you need anything you can ask me for anything. You are my first friend here after all." she said rather timidly, a stark contrast to her normal airheaded nature.

And then it clicked for Naruto. Moka wasn't going to hurt him; she just wanted to be friends. He was the only person she knew at the school. Despite all the fear he had of her, she was just as afraid of him. More accurately, she was afraid of him turning his back on her. That would leave her all alone amongst the hundreds of other monsters, trying to find a place. It mirrored his past, back when he had first started the academy and everyone hated him. He had latched onto Iruka then and Moka had latched onto him now.

At least, that's what he hoped she was feeling. He could just be pulling it out of his ass.

"Wow, that's really sweet Moka but you don't have to do that for me. I'll manage somehow." laughed Naruto as he waved her off with a false bravado. He smiled and closed his eyes, scared as all hell to look her in the eyes. Not out of paranoid terror this time, but out of fear that his feelings would betray him. He wasn't really used to being sentimental, but the day just kept echoing the past. "Why are you being so nice to me anyways? We just met."

"Well, the truth is that you're..."

*rustle rustle*

Naruto snapped his eyes open and twisted his neck so fast that he swore it would have popped off. Moka's words were lost to him as he tried to track the unnatural sounds. Something was moving in a tree nearby and his ninja training had caught it immediately. Unfortunately, his companion had not.

Moka, instead, was focused on the rather large vein in his neck. It pulsed with liquid goodness flavored like ramen and foxes. Its aromatic scent lured her in and single-mindedly Moka reverted into her vampiric instinct.

*chomp*

"WHAT THE DATTEBAYO!?"

* * *

'Keep calm and don't panic, they don't know you're a human and you can probably beat them all in a fight.'

Despite his encouraging thoughts, Naruto still found himself rather shaken at the current situation. There were at least a dozen teenage monsters sitting around him quietly chatting it up in the classroom. Somehow he had gotten separated from Moka during the opening ceremony when they started calling for names to hand out schedules.

There were quite a few monsters, but none of them seemed too terrifying for him. Well, everyone except the meathead that kept hitting on the girls and the ghost that had trouble staying in her body. Those two horrified him, despite Kurama reminding him that he could kill any of them in a fight.

'By the sage...' laughed Kurama, 'Are you really more terrified of a ghost than the reanimated corpse of Madara with infinite chakra?'

'Shut up!' thought Naruto as he tried to silence the fox. It was a phobia, Dattebayo! They didn't have to be rational.

Likely the fox knew that and was just trying to give Naruto a hard time. Still, it was rather pathetic to see Naruto wallow in fear. Fear that the fox drew plenty of delight upon seeing. It was rather nice to find the self-proclaimed 'great Naruto Uzumaki' having his self-esteem take a nose dive.

Well, there was a time and place for everything. At the moment Naruto's attitude was just too pathetic for the Fox to bear. 'Just kill one to establish a pecking order. You probably wouldn't even have to use a single clone or rasengan.'

Naruto smiled at that comment. Kurama probably was right, even though killing another student seemed like bad karma. He probably was the strongest person here, after all he was the strongest person in the elemental nations! They would probably all quake in their boots to learn that the great Naruto Uzumaki was...

Oh god, the ghost came out of her body again.

"Man, the teacher sure is late..." commented a male with a four foot long neck. "I wonder if he died or something."

"Nah, cut him some slack." replied a female that looked rather normal. "He's only fifteen minutes late. It's a hectic day today."

The chatting suddenly went silent as the door slid open. All eyes were on the female who walked in, but unfortunately it was not the professor. Instead of a teacher, a beautiful pink haired vampire walked into the room. Naruto swore that there was some form of glitter in the air around her, because the amount of cat calls she received the moment she opened the door was staggering

"I'm sorry Miss Nekonome, I got lost during the..." Moka didn't get any farther before she realized that she had actually beaten the teacher to the classroom. She looked the class room for the teacher, blushing at all the lewd comments.

"Oh... I guess I should just take a, NARUTO!"

All the eyes in the room watched as Moka glomped Naruto with the force that only a teenage vampire could muster. All the men in the room, save two, were mixed between thoughts of jealousy and anger. How dare such a useless boy be hugged by such a beautiful girl. That should have been them!

After a few moments of awkward silence Moka released the hug and took an empty seat next to Naruto. Blissfully unaware of the scene she had just caused, Moka began a conversation in earnest. "I'm so glad we have the same home room Naruto!" she said as she turned to him.

"Well," started Naruto as he felt the anger of the men sitting next to him. It was rather fortunate that he wasn't empathic when he wasn't using Kurama's chakra, otherwise the hateful thoughts probably would have killed him on the spot. "I am too, but did you really have to paint me as a target on the first day?"

Sure Naruto could probably kill anyone in the room that was moving. He could probably do that, but he kind of wanted to remain a little anonymous at the moment. Being hugged by the hottest girl in the classroom didn't help his goal of avoiding a confrontation with a monster at all.

Before Moka could reply, however, a second person walked through the door. All eyes turned away from Naruto and onto the professor. He was a tall, white haired man with dark blue slacks and a dark blue jacket. He had a white undercoat and a green tie. What set him apart, however, was the fact that he had another blue undercoat under his undercoat that went up his neck and covered his face below his nose. He also had a headband with an engraved leaf symbol that covered the left side of his face, including his eye.

*thud*

"Well," commented Kakashi, giving his trademark eye smile to the blond who currently had his head on his desk, "I can see that at least one of you already knows me. For anyone that doesn't know me, I'm Kakashi Hatake. I'll be your replacement professor for Miss Nekonome while she is on vacation. She had a lot of time saved up, so I'll probably be here all year."

*thud* *thud* *thud*

"Please cut that out... Fishcake-san..." said Kakashi as he held up a roster in his hands while pretending to read it. The rest of the class snickered at his name, including Moka, which gave Naruto an even greater desire to smash the desk with his face.

It was bad enough that they sent him off to a boarding school. Did they have to send his sensei along for the ride too?

"Anyways, moving along, welcome to Yokai academy. As you know, this is a school for monsters. Here we learn to exist properly in the world of humans, because they are far more plentiful than monsters are. Humans in the past have not been allowed entrance into the academy, but that changed this year. In fact, at least five humans are currently enrolled or employed here at the academy."

Hushed whispers quickly spread as soon as Kakashi paused. Yokai academy had humans attending? That was outrageous!

"Why don't we just eat them!" shouted a big man as he stood at his desk angrily. "I say we just eat them and be done with it."

"Because Saizo-san, not all humans are helpless." replied Kakashi. As soon as he finished his sentence he vanished into a swirl of leafs, sending a gasp of surprise amongst all the students save Naruto.

Before anyone could react to Kakashi's sudden reappearance, Saizo was slammed forcefully to the ground. He let out a scream of pain as Kakashi locked the teenager's arm behind his back with one hand and forced his head onto the tile floor with his other hand. Kakashi leaked killing intent outwards to scare the students while he held Saizo on the floor. Once he had made a thorough impression, he released his grip and casually walked back to his spot at the front of the classroom.

"As I was saying," started Kakashi, blissfully enjoying the shock in his student's eyes, "Humans are not all weak. More accurately, monsters are not all powerful. There is a reason why humans control the vast majority of the land on this planet and have driven most monsters into hiding. It's our job as instructors to help you learn to coexist."

"Anyways, that's it for today. Everyone except Naruto can have the rest of the day off to explore the campus." said Kakashi. His hand was pointing to an overhead clock and right as he snapped his fingers the bell went off. As the class shuffled out, he casually added one last comment.

"Oh, a few rules. First, keep up your human appearances at all times while on campus. Second, don't reveal your monster form to anyone. Third, don't seek out the humans. They can all kill you."

Quietly his students filed out of the room. All the fun of the first day had temporarily been subdued by Kakashi's violent outburst and, at the very least it, reminded them of their true place in society. He watched as the pink haired girl, Moka if he got the roster right, whispered something to Naruto and then walked out the door.

"So..." said Kakashi as soon as the door shut. He casually whipped out an orange book from an inside pocket and opened it as his favorite student stood in front of him.

"Should I even ask?" asked Naruto as he glared daggers into his sensei's book.

"Not really, Hokage-sama sent me to make sure you actually study and don't just slack off for a year. Konoha spent a small fortune to get you into this school by the way. Try not to break the place before you graduate."

"Fine... Whatever... I'm going to go hang out with that crazy cute vampire chick. I'll talk to you tomorrow when I'm actually in a good mood to discuss things and not break a desk."

With that Naruto turned to the door, but before he could leave Kakashi spoke up one last time. "Naruto, we all know you never got to have a normal childhood. Think of this as our way of trying to make things right."

"Gee, thanks. Nice to know you guys care." he replied sarcastically as he walked out the door with his suitcase in hand. He was about to close the door when Kakashi threw a ruler at him. Catching it with one hand, he stared at the design before slamming the door shut.

Kakashi could only snicker as his student shrugged him off and left the classroom. Naruto would come around, he was probably just annoyed that they ruined his precious, precious ramen. Compared to the last few years this was going to be a walk in the park. Naruto had to worry about girls and grades, not onmicidal maniacs bent on world domination.

Kakashi was receiving extremely high mission pay for this little babysitting task and he didn't actually have to teach the brats anything. If anything, he his job was to make a presence and keep up the illusion that he was monitoring Naruto's grades. Indeed, he just had to show up to class fifteen minutes late every day and pretend that he was a monster. Quite fun!

"I bet Gai's monster would be the green beast" he mused to no one in particular. After a few pages of Icha Icha he disappeared into a swirl of leafs.

* * *

Just as she had said she would, Moka was waiting outside the door for him. Of course, so were a half dozen males crowded around her asking for her number. As soon as the door opened, she quickly made an opening and latched onto Naruto's arm.

"Alright Naruto, let's go explore the campus!" she said with an almost forced urgency. She tugged on his arm and started leading him away from the group that had previously surrounded him. Complaints of how unfair life was and how Naruto didn't deserve her could be heard from her new fan club as she kept tugging on his arm.

"Whoa, calm down," replied Naruto as he followed along. Moka was pulling on his arm rather heavily, any more force and she would likely tear it out of its socket by accident. He might have had a nice healing factor, but resetting a bone still hurt. "There's no big rush! Slow down."

Moka, however, sped up. She was tired of all the other men giving her attention simply because she was cute. It was so fake and it made her uncomfortable. Those boys didn't want to be her friend; they just wanted to get into her pants. She was not some object to be possessed like a trophy designed to be paraded around. At least with Naruto the other boys would give her some space.

"Nonsense, we should really..."

"What's the rush Moka my dear?" asked a voice from above them. The ninja and the vampire both stopped and gaze up, just in time to see the brute known as Saizo jumping down from the floor above them. He impacted with a crash, dangerously close to Naruto and quickly moved to point a finger at Naruto. "Can't you see that I'd be a better boyfriend than that dork?"

Moka reacted immediately by moving behind Naruto and holding him close for protection. The act did not go unnoticed to Naruto as he could definitely feel her rosary and breasts...

Well her rosary against his back.

"Get lost Saizo," replied Naruto angrily as he swatted the man's outstretched hand away. All his phobia was gone, replaced by a desire to protect the pride of his new friend. "She doesn't want to be your girlfriend so get lost."

Naruto's action clearly pissed off Saizo. Steam seemed to come off him, making his already gigantic frame seem even bigger. Muscles ripped and expanded along his arms as he spoke up again.

"What was that dweeb?" he asked, attempting to use his physicality as an intimidation tool. For Moka it worked, as she was cowering behind Naruto pretty badly. Everyone else in the hallway had given them a large birth as well.

"I said get lost." replied Naruto. He steeled his nerves and prepared for the monster to attack him. Saizo may be a brute, but he was predictable. Kakashi had cut him down without any effort, so Naruto could easily do the same.

As if on cue, Saizo cocked back his arm and swung it downwards at the Naruto. He was inches away from Naruto's face when the unexpected happened.

"Dynamic entry!"

From out of nowhere, a man in a green jumpsuit smashed down against Saizo's head. His foot easily had enough force to push Saizo's body through the tile floor, sending him through an additional two levels of basement.

"Really Bushy-Brows sensei," commented Naruto with a sweat drop, "You too?"

Gai gave off his signature smile and thumbs up as he landed on the opposite side of the new hole in the floor from Naruto and Moka. Around him hushed whispers of his act of power spread quickly, he had beaten Saizo even worse than Kakashi had!

"Of course!" replied Gai, "If my eternal rival must teach here, then I must teach here as well! I cannot let him beat me in this, for I would be eternally shamed!"

"Okay..." commented Naruto. Behind him he could tell that Moka was beginning to freak out. She was just keeping quiet so as not to disturb the scene. It was probably all the green and those teeth. That smile was far too bright to be normal.

"Does that mean you're going to be teaching me as well?"

"Of course!" replied Gai, still blinding everyone with his teeth, "I'm your gym coach. Now go run along and be youthful with your new friend."

As soon as Gai finished his sentence, Naruto grabbed Moka and bolted.

* * *

The rest of the day went pretty well. There were no other crazy distractions and both Moka and Naruto were free to roam the campus. Even though Yokai Academy was a fraction of the size of Konoha, it still took hours to explore. They toured the classrooms, the cafeteria, the massive library, and the dormitories. Moka was quite jealous to learn that Naruto had a small house all to himself, she had a rather spacious apartment, but he had a three story house with at least a dozen rooms – it was beyond luxurious. There were dozens, if not hundreds of hidden areas, including a small restroom and old newspaper rack and water fountain on the beach of a small cove at the water's edge.

If they hadn't been aimlessly wandering about they might never have found it. There was a worn staircase that led down the cliff to the beach, once maintained but now slowly being reclaimed by nature. Perhaps this area had once been a club hangout, but the current state of disrepair leant cause to believe that it had long since been abandoned.

"This place is deserted." commented Naruto as he skipped a stone along the water. His companion was just now returning to him after using the little ladies room. "It's also totally out of theme for a haunted school."

When she didn't respond, Naruto turned around to see Moka downcast with her hair covering her eyes. She was holding something behind her back, as if to hide it but not really hide it at the same time. Something was wrong, she had gone to the restroom cheerfully - perhaps they were out of toilet paper? That would ruin anyone's day.

"Hey Moka, are you okay?" asked Naruto as he walked up to his companion. To his surprise, Moka took matched his movement forward with a step back of her own. He didn't walk any farther before she spoke up.

"You're one of the five humans, aren't you?" she said accusingly. Her voice carried hurt, almost begging him to not answer. By now tears were starting to fall from her eyes. Eyes that refused to look at him.

This, of course, caught Naruto off guard. A few moments ago they were living it up without a care in the world. Now the mood was closer to an epic betrayal, just like Sasuke had done at the Valley of the End but without the violence. Unable to comprehend the issue, Naruto answered truthfully.

"Well, yeah I am. What does it matter?"

Wrong answer.

With a gasp of surprise, Moka dropped her hands and started running back up the stairway that led to the top of the cliff. Naruto started to chase after her, but stopped when he realized that she had left a piece of newspaper behind. He looked at the shrinking form of Moka and at the paper, trying to judge which one was more important.

Bah, that was never an issue. With a single hand seal he created a shadow clone and sent it to grab the paper. For all he knew it could be useless; a red herring dropped off to deter him from chasing her. With the clone's task in mind, he made a running start and began to scale the cliff face using chakra to stick to the surface.

* * *

"It can't be true." sobbed Moka as she sat next to a tree. Her first real friend was a member of a race that she despised so much. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't true, that Naruto was different, but in the end it didn't do much good. The paper had accused him, and he had confirmed it.

"Why did he have to be human?" asked Moka as she sobbed. She had had so many terrible experiences with humans that it just wasn't fair. She knew that Naruto was a good person, but being a human automatically made him bad. They were bullies, liars, and the worst of any race. How much of Naruto was real and how much was fake?

Was he interested in being her friend or was it all just forced?

"Well, I told you I would be a better boyfriend than that dweeb."

Surprised, Moka looked up to find Saizo towering above her. Now was the absolute worst time for him to show up. Why did he have to appear now? Of all times, it was when she was alone and vulnerable. She started to get up and run, but was quickly cut off when Saizo charged her and pinned her against the tree. He was flexing his muscles as he slowly began to morph out of his human disguise.

"Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way..." laughed Saizo as his tongue grew and began to caress Moka's face. It was so disgusting! She didn't want to be touched like this. Nevertheless, Moka was pinned to the wall and helpless against his assault.

"Help!" screamed Moka. She would have screamed more but in an instant one of Saizo's massive hands covered her mouth. She continued to scream despite the barrier, but only muffled sounds came out.

"No one is here to save you this time Moka. You belong to me." whispered Saizo as he began to undress her.

He got as far as the first button on her shirt when he was thrown away by what seemed like a ten ton hammer. He crashed and rolled away helplessly as the force of the blow carried him through several trees. In his place stood Naruto, with a foot held out in front of him where he had kicked Saizo ruthlessly.

"Moka! Are you alright?" shouted Naruto as he caught her and gently laid her back onto the ground. "I saw what the newspaper said, I'm sorry for..."

"It doesn't matter!" interrupted Moka as she leapt onto him and hugged him tight. "I shouldn't have run away!"

The two continued the frightful embrace for a few moments as Moka tried to calm her heart. Unfortunately, their tender moment was cut short when a tree the size of a small bus came hurdling at them from the direction that Saizo had been punted.

'Gotta protect Moka!' Naruto thought as he twisted his body to intercept the tree. He had taken blows far more painful that simple thrown wood, Sakura herself hit with all the force of dynamite. He had to move quickly, though, and in his haste his hand snagged Moka's rosary.

Blinding white light flooded from the piece of jewelry as Moka began to transform. Her hair went white, her eyes changed color, and she began to exude an aura of overwhelming power. Naruto would have paid more attention, but then the tree actually hit him.

'Oh Dattebayo that hurts!' thought Naruto as the tree smashed apart on his back. It appeared that he had forgotten one major fact. He could never walk away from a Sakura punch. They usually left him sprawled out on the ground in agony for at least a few minutes.

He wasn't using sage mode to harden his body and he wasn't using Kurama's chakra to absorb the impact. Indeed, two tons of wood smashed against his unprotected back with quite a significant amount of force. Not quite as much as Sakura's fist, but still a lot of force to withstand. Perhaps he was being overconfident when he made to take the full force of the tree by himself. The speed of his chakra coat could have easily moved both of them out of the way.

Thank god for Kurama's healing factor, he'd be having back pains for ages otherwise. All he needed to do was just sit down for a few minutes. But, being the ever-suicidal hero he was, he had to help Moka - his body could handle it. So he struggled to his feet until Moka pushed on his shoulders and gently sat him on the ground.

"That was a large hit Naruto-san. Let me handle it from here." commented Moka in a deeper, different voice. It didn't belong to the Moka he knew, did taking off that rosary actually do something to Moka?

In a blink she was gone from in front of him, moving quickly in the direction that Saizo was in. There was a muffled scream, followed by a good minute of a one-sided curb stomp. Naruto had turned around once to see what was going on, but quickly turned around.

After all, beating a man to death with his own leg was far too graphic for a 'T' rating.

After a while, the screams of agony died down. There was one final punting noise, a scream, and then only Moka and Naruto were left in the forest.

"Do you fear me Naruto?" asked Moka as she walked behind him. She moved her chest to his back and slowly lifted him up to his feet, giving the blond ninja a rather nice feel in the process.

"Not really," replied Naruto as he turned around and looked Moka straight in the eye. He smiled as he noted the fact that her eyes had changed. They were no longer regular green eyes, replaced by vertically slitted red eyes with an aura of arrogance. "But I would like to know what the Dattebayo is going on here."

"Very well," replied Moka as she reached for the rosary in his hands. "I'm Inner Moka, a true vampire who sleeps while the rosary locks me away. Outer Moka, the Moka you know, is very precious to me. Don't betray her trust or I'll kill you."

With that, Inner Moka slid the seal back to her neck. It magically reattached to the choker that held it and all of her changes began to revert. Her hair returned from white to pink, her bust and rear shrank in size – much to Naruto's shock, her eyes returned to their original green, and the overwhelming aura of power disappeared. Then she spoke up, tearfully.

"I'm so sorry Naruto," sobbed Outer Moka, "It's just I read that newspaper and it reminded me of why I hated humans" She hugged him now, her chest firmly planted on his chest and her arms locking him tightly. "When I was young I grew up in a human school. They didn't believe in monsters and it hurt so badly when they ridiculed me. I didn't mean to..."

"That's not important Moka," interrupted Naruto. He pushed her away just enough to give them both vision of each other. They locked eyes in a meaningful stare as Naruto continued. "What's important is that I promise to be your friend and protect you when you need protecting. Races don't matter, because I've seen more crazy things than you would ever believe. If you want to be my friend, I'll be yours."

Moka gazed at him with big watery eyes as she started to smile. "So does that mean..."

"Yep,"

*chomp*

That wasn't what Naruto thought she meant.


End file.
